November 1, 2006: Kailey was moved up from Critical care to the constant care nursery, the difference is, instead of one nurse per baby there is one nurse for 2 or 3. She is now on the 7th floor of the hospital and has been doing extremly well. I now get to do all of her diaper changes, feedings and baths. It's amazing what I would have taken for granted had we been allowed to just come home. I have such an appreciation for the small thing now. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that kailey was sent to me to teach me.
November 2-8, 2006: Kailey is now wearing all of her own clothes now and is up to 5lbs 8 oz. Way to go Kailey! She makes the most adorable faces that I have ever seen. Her Auntie Tracy has come to visit with us, I am always so happy when she does! Mike came up for the weekend and the first night he took Kailey in his arms and he held for for almost 2 hours, he missed her so much. The Doctor's are hopeful that soon they will be able to tell us what is going on and how to fix it. As of right now what we do know is that Kailey has an enlarged Heart and an extra valve that connects the right chamber to the left chamber and pushes fluid into her lungs. She will eventually need surgery to repair it. Kailey also has 3 holes and a heart murmer. The Doctor's have explained to me the Kailey was IUGR: In Uterine Grow Reduction. My placenta had an infection and she was not getting the nutrients that she needed which is another reason she was born so small. I can't even begin to tell you how guilty I feel right now and everyone keeps saying that there is no way this is my fault, but she was in my belly for 9 months I should have been able to protect her. And we don't have any answers yet so how can I know for sure it wasn't me?
Noember 9th, 2006: We have been moved out of Constant Care to a regular room, Kailey is doing amazing, she can almost eat 2 oz out her bottle but the NG tube is still in so hopefully soon if she continues to feed well it can come out. My mom finally went back home for a rest, she really needed it, so I am up here by myself now but I talk to Mike everynight on the phone and my sisters to. Our family has been a great source of strength for me. My c-cection is finally starting to heal and the nursing staff no longer have to come every day. I am still on Antibiotics but feeling so much better now. I have stopped pumping breast milk becuase I am just to tired, stressed and I am not even pumping enough for her to drinks a 2oz bottle it has to be supplemented with formula anyways. I feel like such a failure right now.
Mike's mom has come up to fit me for my Bridesmaid dress. I am supposed to be in Angies wedding next week and I have no I dea if I will be able to make it. I have already missed all of her showers and the Bachelorett party, some friend I am. Angie has been so good about it all and comes up to visit every week or so to see how we are doing